That's it. The official alphabet of Melbourne's food musicians. Not enough ingredients for you? Well when you look outside of Melbourne, to the rest of the world, there's so many ​more foods and drinks to choose from. Like...


​​Jimi Breadstix, Alice Coopers, John Lemon, Crisp Brown, Miley Citrus, Miley Pierus, Kanye Zest, Veal Young, The Grateful Bread, Marshmallow Guthrie, Iggy Popcorn, Kurt Kebab, Ludacrisp, Wheyonce, Snoop Hotdog, Quiche-a, Lupe Tobasco, Susan Boil, Marilyn Spamson, Shaquinoa, Hamsen, Johnny Mash, Jim Porridgeson, ZZ Toppings, LL Koolaid, Fleetwood Macaroni, Dave Gruel, Food Fighters, Dave Baguetta, Soy Division, Crosby Stills Mash, Mild Davis, Spagheddie Veder, Ceylon Dion, Rhubarba Streisand, Katy Peri-Peri, ABBAlone, Calvin Harrisotto, Peking Duck, Benja-mint booker, Darwin Deasy-mac, Mac DeMarcoke, Corn, Spam Deacon, Malt J, Rudilental, Jack White Wine, M&M, Thelma plums, Vegan Washington, Tame Impaela...


Oh and don't forget, there's all these guys, whose names we don't even have to change...


​Meat Loaf, Chuck Berry, Hall and Oats, The Lemonheads, The Roots, Ice-T, Coco, Eminem, The Cranberries, The Black Eyed Peas, Sugar Ray, Vanilla Ice, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Cream, Smashing Pumpkins, Salt’n’peppa, Milli Vanilli, Bread, Bananarama, Amy Winehouse, Cake, Blue Oyster Cult, Pearl Jam, Fiona Apple, Spice Girls, Veruca Salt, Bowling for Soup, Limp Bizkit, Captain Beefheart, The Sugarhill Gang, Ice Cube, Ice T, Mudhoney, T-Bone Burnett, Grinspoon, Beasts of Bourbon, Richard Cheese, The Sugababes, Peaches, Neneh Cherry...

​Z is for... Zac Watermelon

​​Summer is around the corner and I can already feel the sweet taste of watermelon, melting in my mouth, putting me on cloud 9. Apparently super-fast-rising-star producer Zac Waters does the same at Cloud 9 on weekends with his "Meltrance" style of music. 

​Y is for... Young Nation Foie Gras

​​I don't really even know what foie gras is... something about tortured duck liver. What I do know is that the Young Nation Souljahs are Melbourne's best source of positive hip hop vibes.


Also: Young Moets

​X is for... Xavier Spud

​So, Xavier Rudd is from the Torquay/Geelong area.... he counts as a Melbourne musician for this list though. I mean... is there anyone else around here with a name starting with X? Certainly not as accomplished as Xavier Rudd, who definitely isn't a spud.

​W is for... White Peaches

​Bite into a juicy peach this spring and taste a small part of the rainbow. Listen to White Bleaches and hear every sound of the rainbow.... as well as a few sounds from other dimensions.


Also: Warfiggs 

​V is for... Vito Lucarellish

​I was never a fan of rellish.... but, it is versatile. The same goes for Shabbab rocker and Hive Minds sonic mastermind Vito Lucarelli - versatile.

​U is for... Unicorn On The Cob

​How good are these guys... Unicorn On The Cob is their actual name! In my opinion, they're in the running for band name of the year along with these guys.


​Also: Uonectarine

​T is for... Tim Rogelati

​The You Am I legend and Community Cup veteran isn't originally from Melbourne, but moved here in 1999 and has since lived in St Kilda, recently performing with The Bamboos (who almost made it on this list as the Lamb Stews but I've overused the word 'stew').


​Also: Tequila Mockingbyrd

​S is for... Stew Mackenzie

​Maybe a lizard stew could go well? King Gizz front magician Stu Mackenzie brews up a storm on stage. Someone once told me that Stu can brew a bamboo stew while playing the kazoo. Who knew.


Also:Shroomki Rosenboim, The Slim Jaffies, Sex On Toast

​R is for... Reikangaroo

​It could have been Reikale, or Reikidney Beans, or Reikiwi Fruit, or Reiketamine (is that a food)? We chose Reikangaroo because Reika's music is certified as good for cardiovascular health by the Heart Foundation of Australia, just like old mate the kangaroo steak.

​Q is for... Queen of the Smarties

​Finding an entry for the letter Q was difficult. Queen of the Harpies stopped gigging two years ago but from what I can gather, they left a solid enough impression to ensure they're still eligible for this list.

​P is for... Peter Bibbeer

​This one is pretty standard. If you don't see Peter Bibby on a stage in Melbourne you'll see him at the bar sipping on a cold brew. During the day he can be found inside our city's many bakeries, eating and critiquing meat pies.

​O is for... Olive-r Jach

​Olives... some love them, some hate them. Not quite a 100% approval rate. It's a different story so far for Oliver Jach's New Melbourne Jangle (98.27% approval in the latest Nielson poll).


Also:Olmegg

​N is for... Nicholas Allchook

​Ponderer and bottle of confidence Nicholas Allbrook is as versatile on stage and in the studio as our favourite avian friend is in the kitchen. 

​M is for... The McQuinces

​It would be fun to have a jam with indie rockers The McQueens. A quince jam.

​L is for... Loretta Mild

Mangelwurzel are a multi-ingredient act according to this list. Loretta Wilde's bass licks aren't mild on stage, but they're the smooth taste that carry Mangelwurzel's sharper flavors.


Also:Lalicorice

​K is for... Kira Pea-ru

​Merri Soul singer Kira Puru has a voice that will blow you away and leave you wondering if you'll every hear a singer as powerful again. Peas... well, they're just peas. I don't know how to work it in here.

​J is for... Jen Clove-r

​Crimson and clover, over and over, crimson and clover, over and over. That's got nothing to do with this article, I just really like the song. Clove's legendary status in Middle-Eastern cuisine is not unlike Jen Cloher's legendary status in Melbourne's music scene.

​I is for... Ivan Booze

​In the evening, Ivan Stews some Ivan Kangaroos to avoid getting the Ivan Blues before having an Ivan Snooze. In the morning he'll read the Ivan News and wash his hair with some Ivan Shampoos, then get brekky at the Ivan Drive-Thru in his Ivan Cruze, if that's what Ivan Choose.

​H is for... Hiatus Kairoti

Hiatus Kaiyote are the sort of band that completes an incomplete lineup. Sure, the Rogan Josh's and Chicken Kiev's can pull a decent punch, but what really makes it a meal to remember is the perfectly cooked roti bread.


Also: Harold Bishop and the Dirty Peas

​G is for... Gorshanks

​Possibly the most delicious food item on this list.... you had better be having some lamb Gorshanks on the barbie next Australia day. Gorsha are fronted by Finn Williams, who almost made it on this list as Whale Fin Williams but it's not a legitimate food and if you eat whale fine you're fucked up.

​F is for... Fraser A. Korma

Milk Records folkster Fraser A. Gorman can be seen around town with a chicken in his arms every now and then. If any of his feathered friends end up as dinner then I can only hope it's as good as mum's chicken korma.

​E is for... EloJimBeam

Up and coming hip hop kid Eloji's lyrics are like fire fueled by a splash of sweet, musky bourbon.


Also: Eddy Currant Suppression Ring, Empat Lima Beans

D is for.... Dan Sultana

​When I get the blues, I go to the pantry and grab a handful of sultanas, it normally dries up my bad mood. When I want to listen to blues, I listen to Dan Sultan.


Also: Diamonds of Neptuna

C is for.... Cosima Jaalapeno

​When you go to Subway and the guy in front of you asks for Jalapenos on his sub, it's a big deal in your head about whether he pronounces it "Halapenos" or "Jalapenos". Don't pretend you don't care. 


This one is a bit of a stretch but works if you accept the wrong way of pronouncing the pepper. Cosima Jaala front's spicy 6-piece Mangelwurzel as well as the spicier side project Jaala. If there's a band out there called The Jalapenos then it's fate that the 3 bands play a gig together.

B is for.... Banana Morgan

​Rana Morgan's mandolin/banjo vibes are a nutritious source of vitamin B at every Mango Retreat gig. 


Also:Britfish India, The Burnt Sausages, Bmash

A is for.... Angus Lesleek

The Sex On Toast front man (Angus Leslie) certainly has a singing voice much smoother than his onion-like namesake.

THE ALPHABETICAL LIST OF MELBOURNE'S TASTIEST MUSICIANS

Patrick Wain, James Becker, Michael Scalzo - 16/8/2015


There are people who believe Melbourne is Australia's capital city for live music. Then there are people who believe it is Australia's capital city for food and fine dining. Here at Doorstamps, we often like to follow the lead of that little mexican girl who said, "Por que non los dos?"


Thus we present to you the official alphabet of Melbourne musicians and the foods we think of when we hear their names. If you've got any suggestions, shoot us a message and we'll add it to the list.