That's it. The official alphabet of Melbourne's food musicians. Not enough ingredients for you? Well when you look outside of Melbourne, to the rest of the world, there's so many more foods and drinks to choose from. Like...
Jimi Breadstix, Alice Coopers, John Lemon, Crisp Brown, Miley Citrus, Miley Pierus, Kanye Zest, Veal Young, The Grateful Bread, Marshmallow Guthrie, Iggy Popcorn, Kurt Kebab, Ludacrisp, Wheyonce, Snoop Hotdog, Quiche-a, Lupe Tobasco, Susan Boil, Marilyn Spamson, Shaquinoa, Hamsen, Johnny Mash, Jim Porridgeson, ZZ Toppings, LL Koolaid, Fleetwood Macaroni, Dave Gruel, Food Fighters, Dave Baguetta, Soy Division, Crosby Stills Mash, Mild Davis, Spagheddie Veder, Ceylon Dion, Rhubarba Streisand, Katy Peri-Peri, ABBAlone, Calvin Harrisotto, Peking Duck, Benja-mint booker, Darwin Deasy-mac, Mac DeMarcoke, Corn, Spam Deacon, Malt J, Rudilental, Jack White Wine, M&M, Thelma plums, Vegan Washington, Tame Impaela...
Oh and don't forget, there's all these guys, whose names we don't even have to change...
Meat Loaf, Chuck Berry, Hall and Oats, The Lemonheads, The Roots, Ice-T, Coco, Eminem, The Cranberries, The Black Eyed Peas, Sugar Ray, Vanilla Ice, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Cream, Smashing Pumpkins, Salt’n’peppa, Milli Vanilli, Bread, Bananarama, Amy Winehouse, Cake, Blue Oyster Cult, Pearl Jam, Fiona Apple, Spice Girls, Veruca Salt, Bowling for Soup, Limp Bizkit, Captain Beefheart, The Sugarhill Gang, Ice Cube, Ice T, Mudhoney, T-Bone Burnett, Grinspoon, Beasts of Bourbon, Richard Cheese, The Sugababes, Peaches, Neneh Cherry...
Z is for... Zac Watermelon
Summer is around the corner and I can already feel the sweet taste of watermelon, melting in my mouth, putting me on cloud 9. Apparently super-fast-rising-star producer Zac Waters does the same at Cloud 9 on weekends with his "Meltrance" style of music.
X is for... Xavier Spud
So, Xavier Rudd is from the Torquay/Geelong area.... he counts as a Melbourne musician for this list though. I mean... is there anyone else around here with a name starting with X? Certainly not as accomplished as Xavier Rudd, who definitely isn't a spud.
V is for... Vito Lucarellish
I was never a fan of rellish.... but, it is versatile. The same goes for Shabbab rocker and Hive Minds sonic mastermind Vito Lucarelli - versatile.
T is for... Tim Rogelati
The You Am I legend and Community Cup veteran isn't originally from Melbourne, but moved here in 1999 and has since lived in St Kilda, recently performing with The Bamboos (who almost made it on this list as the Lamb Stews but I've overused the word 'stew').
Also: Tequila Mockingbyrd
R is for... Reikangaroo
It could have been Reikale, or Reikidney Beans, or Reikiwi Fruit, or Reiketamine (is that a food)? We chose Reikangaroo because Reika's music is certified as good for cardiovascular health by the Heart Foundation of Australia, just like old mate the kangaroo steak.
Q is for... Queen of the Smarties
Finding an entry for the letter Q was difficult. Queen of the Harpies stopped gigging two years ago but from what I can gather, they left a solid enough impression to ensure they're still eligible for this list.
P is for... Peter Bibbeer
This one is pretty standard. If you don't see Peter Bibby on a stage in Melbourne you'll see him at the bar sipping on a cold brew. During the day he can be found inside our city's many bakeries, eating and critiquing meat pies.
N is for... Nicholas Allchook
Ponderer and bottle of confidence Nicholas Allbrook is as versatile on stage and in the studio as our favourite avian friend is in the kitchen.
M is for... The McQuinces
It would be fun to have a jam with indie rockers The McQueens. A quince jam.
K is for... Kira Pea-ru
Merri Soul singer Kira Puru has a voice that will blow you away and leave you wondering if you'll every hear a singer as powerful again. Peas... well, they're just peas. I don't know how to work it in here.
J is for... Jen Clove-r
Crimson and clover, over and over, crimson and clover, over and over. That's got nothing to do with this article, I just really like the song. Clove's legendary status in Middle-Eastern cuisine is not unlike Jen Cloher's legendary status in Melbourne's music scene.
I is for... Ivan Booze
In the evening, Ivan Stews some Ivan Kangaroos to avoid getting the Ivan Blues before having an Ivan Snooze. In the morning he'll read the Ivan News and wash his hair with some Ivan Shampoos, then get brekky at the Ivan Drive-Thru in his Ivan Cruze, if that's what Ivan Choose.
H is for... Hiatus Kairoti
Hiatus Kaiyote are the sort of band that completes an incomplete lineup. Sure, the Rogan Josh's and Chicken Kiev's can pull a decent punch, but what really makes it a meal to remember is the perfectly cooked roti bread.
Also: Harold Bishop and the Dirty Peas
G is for... Gorshanks
Possibly the most delicious food item on this list.... you had better be having some lamb Gorshanks on the barbie next Australia day. Gorsha are fronted by Finn Williams, who almost made it on this list as Whale Fin Williams but it's not a legitimate food and if you eat whale fine you're fucked up.
F is for... Fraser A. Korma
Milk Records folkster Fraser A. Gorman can be seen around town with a chicken in his arms every now and then. If any of his feathered friends end up as dinner then I can only hope it's as good as mum's chicken korma.
C is for.... Cosima Jaalapeno
When you go to Subway and the guy in front of you asks for Jalapenos on his sub, it's a big deal in your head about whether he pronounces it "Halapenos" or "Jalapenos". Don't pretend you don't care.
This one is a bit of a stretch but works if you accept the wrong way of pronouncing the pepper. Cosima Jaala front's spicy 6-piece Mangelwurzel as well as the spicier side project Jaala. If there's a band out there called The Jalapenos then it's fate that the 3 bands play a gig together.
A is for.... Angus Lesleek
The Sex On Toast front man (Angus Leslie) certainly has a singing voice much smoother than his onion-like namesake.
There are people who believe Melbourne is Australia's capital city for live music. Then there are people who believe it is Australia's capital city for food and fine dining. Here at Doorstamps, we often like to follow the lead of that little mexican girl who said, "Por que non los dos?"
Thus we present to you the official alphabet of Melbourne musicians and the foods we think of when we hear their names. If you've got any suggestions, shoot us a message and we'll add it to the list.